Summary:
After Thanos defeats the Avengers, Tony Stark’s
spirit is broken. He falls.
But then he finds a reason to rise again — and
become the man his family needs.
--*--
Or: Snapshots of Tony’s life in the first year
after the Snap.
(In case you missed them: Chapter One // ChapterTwo // Chapter Three // Chapter Four //
(All introductory notes, meanwhile, can be found
in Chapter One.)
--*--
Chapter Six
“So you’re the missus, eh? I can see why Stark
thinks ya hold up the sky.”
Pepper smiled as she shook Dr. Nolan’s hand.
“And I think I know why he likes you too.” Indeed, based on what
she’d heard from Tony himself, the reason was fairly simple: Nolan treated Tony
like a man. Not like a celebrity to be plied with empty flattery. Not like a
lunatic to be captured and contained. And not like a nuisance to be scolded or
endured. To Nolan, Tony was just a regular guy with a regular problem — someone
who needed both kind encouragement and high expectations.
In Tony’s world, such authenticity and
consideration was vanishingly rare.
“Please,” Nolan said, gesturing to a worn
leather armchair, “take a load off.”
Pepper did so, crossing her ankles and smoothing
her skirt.
“So I called ya in here for a couple reasons.”
With a flick of his lighter, Nolan ignited the end of his Cohiba and took his
own seat. “Numero uno, the clock’s about to run out on Stark’s planned sojourn
here, and since I expect he’ll be ready to go by then, I need to give ya some
relevant lit-ra-chure. That’s what ya got right here on the table.” Pepper
picked up the pamphlets Nolan tapped with his hook and put them in her purse. “But
more importantly, Stark asked me to. Lately, he’s been goin’ mad with worry
over your well-bein’. So” — he leaned forward — “how ya holdin’ up, Ms. Potts?
Ya got a support system?”
“Rhodey and Happy have been coming by,” Pepper
replied. And work had been busy too. SI was still struggling to fill some of
the positions Thanos had unceremoniously emptied, and the problems that
engendered often got punted all the way up to her office. Distractions
abounded. “But it does get a little lonely at night.”
“I can imagine. And the tadpole?”
“Still healthy as far as we know.”
“Good.” Nolan slapped his hand on his knee. “And
now for the doctorly advice if you don’t mind: don’t forget to look after
yourself. I’ve seen it sometimes with my patients’ significant others. They get
so wrapped up in the other person’s problems that they end up neglectin’
themselves and then resentin’ their lot. So if ya have an issue that needs
addressin’, be upfront. In your case, I have it on good authority that your
mister is ready to serve.”
“I know. Even during the bad times, Tony’s
always tried.” It was one of the things Pepper loved most about him. “Did he
ever tell you what he gave me for Christmas back in 2012?”
“Nope, can’t say he has.”
“A giant stuffed bunny.”
Nolan guffawed. “Well, I’ll be!”
“It was ten feet tall at least,” Pepper
continued, also laughing. “It took a whole production just to get it into the
house. I don’t think he could’ve bought me anything less practical.” And as
ridiculous as it was at the time, she had to admit she now regretted its loss
with the rest of Tony’s seaside mansion. That stupid bunny was Tony’s feelings
for her in a nutshell — over-the-top, unconstrained, and painfully earnest.
“Well, I’ve only known the fella for a short
time, but that sure sounds like something he’d do. Moderation doesn’t seem like
his style. Everything he does, he’s gotta blow out the amps.”
Then Pepper sobered. “Tony hides it in public
behind the sarcasm and the jokes, but — he’ll crawl through broken glass for
you if you’re someone he cares about.” She looked down, lightly touching her
engagement ring with her thumb. “To be honest, that passion — it makes me
afraid for him. Every time he’s left for another mission, I’ve always wondered
if I will ever see him again. Because if there’s something dangerous to do to
save the world, he jumps right in without a second thought. He’s cheated death
so many times, but — maybe one day, he really will kill himself
for the sake of doing the right thing.”
“So you’re basically a soldier’s wife watchin’
her husband deploy to a combat zone.”
“Yes, I suppose that’s true.”
“And even though ya love ‘im, ya still haven’t
quite made your peace with what he does.”
“No.” Pepper sighed. “I’m unbelievably proud of
Tony — of the man he’s become. I know that Iron Man is so central to who he is,
and I want to support him in that. But I also want to keep him here — to keep
him safe. Is that selfish?”
“I reckon that’s perfectly natural. But your
relationship doesn’t have to crash on that rock. Not if you find some folks to
talk to — some ladies in your position. I hear ya live out in the boondocks
now, but every county’s got a PD and an FD of some sort. I’m sure those wives
could commiserate.”
“And Tony and I haven’t really had the
opportunity to meet our new neighbors. Thank you, doctor. That’s a good idea.”
“Ya got a good chance, the two of ya. What I
said before — I wasn’t kiddin’. If he were more neurotypical, Stark would be
writing ya bad poetry on restaurant napkins. He’s not always had an easy time
of it while he’s been here. But no matter how far in the dumps he feels, he
still gets up every mornin’ and pushes on. And you know why?” Nolan pointed at
Pepper. “You. Not to get all mushy about it, but you’re his North Star.”
Pepper’s eyes flooded with tears.
--*--
Two days before Halloween, Pepper wound her way
back up to New Hampshire to collect Tony and bring him home. The foliage - what
was left of it - was well past peak, so the long route was not as scenic as it
could’ve been. But that was something Pepper only barely noticed. Her mind was
fixed on something else entirely.
By the time Pepper pulled up to the lodge, the
sun had set a few hours before — and Tony was already outside waiting for her.
As soon as she saw him sitting on that porch bundled up in a hoodie with
sleeves that were just a smidge too long, she was hit with a warmth and longing
so intense that, for a brief moment, she forgot how to breathe.
And by the look of him, Tony was similarly
affected.
“Hey, Ms. Potts,” he said, the crack in his
voice belying the casual distance of the greeting.
“Hello, Mr. Stark,” Pepper responded, joining in
the game.
Then Tony crushed Pepper in a hug fierce enough
to contain a whole life’s worth of pent-up devotion.
Because it was too late to start the trip back,
Pepper checked them into the Omni in Bretton Woods. Once Tony caught sight of
the four-poster bed, the gas fireplace, and the mountain views, he wrapped his
arm around Pepper’s waist and tugged her close. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
he teased, his eyebrows waggling, his mouth turned up in a naughty smirk.
Pepper pushed him onto the bed and silenced him
with a kiss. Because yes: she’d wanted this for at least the past few weeks,
and tonight was as good a time as any.
But beneath her, she felt Tony hesitate. “Are
you sure —?” he mumbled around her lips. Then he pulled away. “I mean, is it
safe for the baby?”
Men. Pepper playfully slapped
Tony’s hip. “Yes, Tony, it’s fine. I even asked before I left.”
“Oh. Well then, carry on, Ms. Potts.”
Pepper kissed Tony again, hooking her thumbs
under his waistband.
--*--
The third time Pepper stopped to pee on the
drive the following day, she somehow lost track of Tony. And for once, she
wasn’t paralyzed with concern. Dr. Nolan had warned her that Tony would still
hit the occasional speed bump — that his condition was a lifelong cross to
bear. But for now, he’d successfully scrabbled, fingers bleeding, out of the
abyss. For now, Tony was approaching, asymptotically, a kind of real
stability.
After walking one circuit around the gas
station’s little convenience store with no luck, she got back in the car,
assuming that Tony was in the men’s room. Turning the key in the ignition, she
fiddled with the satellite radio and waited.
Pepper certainly did not expect
her fiancé to return carrying a ludicrously massive pumpkin.
“Tony, what — what is that?”
“It’s Halloween tomorrow,” Tony said, straining
under the weight, his hair plastered against his forehead. “I need it.”
Pepper’s face fell into her hand. How? How had
she managed to get involved with the biggest dork on planet Earth? And where
did he even find that monstrosity? But Tony looked so innocent standing there, cheeks
crimson, his eyes broadcasting a wordless plea. In the end, she couldn’t
possibly gainsay him.
“Well, put it in the car before you throw out
your back.”
Once Tony, panting, had buckled in, Pepper shot
him a look of fond exasperation. “I hope you realize we’re not going to be able
to use all the guts of that thing.” And wasting it would feel almost obscene.
Many imports had slowed or stopped completely, and a lot of produce was scarce.
But Tony came up with an eminently logical
solution: “We’ll give the extra to the neighbors.”
“Fine. But you’re in charge of it. It’s your
pumpkin.”
When they made it back to the cabin, Tony - to
his credit - left Pepper alone and dealt with his little boondoggle himself. It
made Pepper cringe a few times to hear him thumping around in her kitchen
clumsily rattling God knew what, but — an agreement was an agreement. It was a
struggle, but Pepper successfully resisted the overpowering urge to peek,
electing instead to read in the living room.
Hours later, Tony emerged, triumphant.
“That — is actually pretty impressive,” Pepper
said when she saw the result. The design Tony had carved was remarkably
elaborate — and hideous. “How did —?”
“Laser cutters. And FRIDAY helped me find a
pattern.”
“And the insides?”
“Packed for delivery.”
“I guess I underestimated you, Tony Stark.”
Tony’s grin then was so wonderfully genuine that Pepper kissed him right on the
spot.
After Tony had parked the jack-o-lantern on the
porch and they’d finished a late dinner, he lay down on the couch with Pepper,
languid, almost boneless, his head in her lap. Pepper stroked his hair as she
sipped her hot cider, soothing him into a state of semi-sleep.
“I wanna get married,” Tony murmured, groggy.
“I know.”
Tony’s eyes popped open. “No, I mean — I don’t
wanna wait.” He sat up. “I wanna make it official. Right now. Well, actually,
tomorrow.”
“Tony —”
“Wait. Here me out.” Tony took Pepper’s hand. “You
already have your wedding gown, right? And with the supply lines being as
fucked as they are, a full ceremony might be a bad look. So why not dump what
we were going to spend on the wedding into the September Foundation and just
take Rhodey and Happy with us to the courthouse?”
“You want to skip the ceremony entirely?”
Hurriedly, Tony changed his tack. “I want
whatever you want, honey. I just thought —”
Pepper rested her hand on Tony’s jaw, cutting
him off. “Okay, Tony. Let’s elope.”
--*--
Despite Tony’s eagerness, it actually took a few
weeks to align everyone’s schedules and get everything arranged. Consequently,
when the fateful day came, Tony was antsy as hell. As he waited for Pepper to
arrive at the courthouse in her own vehicle, he repeatedly jumped up from his
seat to pace, adjusting and readjusting his tuxedo tie.
“Seriously, Tones,” Rhodey said after he’d
watched Tony’s fidgeting for fifteen minutes, openly amused. “You need to
chill.”
“You still have the rings, Hap?”
Tony knew it was maybe the twenty-fifth time
he’d asked the question, but fortunately, his former bodyguard was polite
enough not to point that out. “Yes, Tony, they’re right here,” a long-suffering
Happy replied, tapping his breast.
Tony stuck his hand in his own pocket, fingering
the piece of paper he’d stashed there earlier that morning. Writing had never
been his forte - Howard was apoplectic the day he learned his
otherwise-phenomenal boy actually needed a tutor for the subject at Phillips
Exeter - so it had taken him three days to pen his vows, scribbling sentences
down in his chicken scratch, then crossing them out to try alternative turns of
phrase. By the time he’d at last come up with something satisfying, the sheet
he’d printed it on was an absolute mess, wrinkled and smudged with ink. It
is what it is, Tony thought. I just hope I can read it when the time
comes.
Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw the door
to the courthouse open, admitting a flash of autumn sunshine. He turned — and
immediately, his heart leapt in his chest. Pepper was beautiful — just
absolutely fucking stunning. Not that she wasn’t gorgeous all the
time (and yes, as far as Tony was concerned, that included the early mornings
before she’d done her hair or made up her face), but — in her wedding gown, she
was taking things to a whole new level entirely. Tony felt excitement flare and
pool around his middle as he reached for her hand.
The opening bits of the ceremony passed in a
blur. For the life of him, Tony could not stop staring at his bride. He was
lucky that he’d caught a woman so perfect after so many years of wasted time.
He was fantastically, extraordinarily lucky that she’d agreed to
stay with him despite the many, many times he’d screwed up and
fallen short. Pepper had seen him at his absolute worst — but now, he hoped,
she would finally see him at his best.
“Hey. Earth to Shellhead,” Rhodey whispered in
Tony’s ear. “It’s your turn.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Tony cleared his throat, smiled
nervously at the waiting justice, and pulled out his vows. As he read, the
paper shook a little in his hand. “Pepper: I think there’s always been a piece
of me, somewhere deep down, that knew you were someone special from the moment
you first walked into my lab. And even though it took more than a decade for
the rest of me to catch up, that piece was always grateful that you stayed —
even through all those years I failed to be worthy of your loyalty. As I try to
write these vows now — as I try to think of what to say — the one thing I know
for sure is that I want to make it up to you. Everything you gave me when my
heart was asleep — everything you gave me each time I made your life more
difficult — I want to give it all back to you a thousandfold. For the rest of
my life —” Tony’s voice broke, and he cleared his throat a second time. “For
the rest of my life, I promise I will do everything in my power to deserve you.
Because I want to deserve you more than anything in the world. And that’s why
I, Tony Stark, am here of my own free will to take you, Virginia Potts, to be
my lawfully wedded wife — no matter what may happen next. Because I know I want
to be with you forever. Because it’s always been you.”
Tears in her eyes, Pepper stroked Tony’s cheek —
then reached down and squeezed his hand. “Tony,” she began. “Over the past ten
years, I have watched you grow into someone truly remarkable — have watched you
slowly become the man - the hero - you were always meant to be.
Yes: it happened in fits and starts. And yes: it wasn’t always easy. We’ve had
our troubled times — our reversals — our moments of pain and doubt. But you
never stopped trying to be better — and that’s what matters to me
more than anything else. I don’t expect our marriage to be perfect — but I know
you will do the best you can to be a good husband for me and a good father for
our child. And that’s why I, Virginia Potts, am here of my own free will to
take you, Tony Stark, to be by lawfully wedded husband — in sickness and in
health, in plenty and in want, as long as we both shall live. You knew this was
meant to be long before I did, I think — but I will never regret that you
convinced me.”
Then the world fuzzed out again. As the rings
were exchanged and the pronouncements made, Tony floated, overcome by a feeling
of contentment and peace so utterly novel that he doubted he could describe it
in words.
Maybe this right here was the hope he’d been
looking for ever since he came home to wreck and ruin. Maybe this right here
was his chance to make a new start.
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